I'm not sure what the title of this page should be. Through the loss of my dear friend, Wendell.... I was able to connect with two of his sons, Kent and Jesse and his wife, Melissa.
It's strange though.... I had no idea that Wendell had a FB page, we could have been able to communicate more. Kent accepted my friend request almost immediately, and I was able to put a face to the name. He looks so much like his dad, only he is a bigger man. Maybe we can connect in some way. Haven't heard from Melissa or Jesse, but I think Jesse will be the one to have the hardest time. Wendell was so proud of Jesse, and so in love. He had his daddy's heart.
I was able to see a picture of Melissa and to see an up-dated picture of Jesse. He is a very nice looking young man, he has dark hair and dark eyes, not Wendell's coloring, but he has his look.
I have a copy of Wendell's obituary and some pictures from Kent's FB page. The oldest picture of Wendell was the Wendell I remember and the man I will always remember. He was always so sure of himself, like my Ronnie. The second picture was of Wendell, Jesse and Kent, they were standing in front of a mantle that was decorated with candles and flowers, some type of ceremony or celebration. The third picture really hurts my heart. It's a more recent picture of Wendell and Jesse, and you can see how ill Wendell was.
We have our hope planted firmly in Jesus Christ, and we know that our loved ones, who are children of the King, have been changed. There is "no more night, no more pain," and we will one day be reunited.
Praise the Lord....
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Monday, August 31, 2015
My Freind Wendell
This afternoon, I received a call that I have dreaded. Melissa called to tell me that Wendell had passed away.
Wendell and I first met in 1970 at my daddy's garage on Asheville Highway. I started working there during the summers to help daddy out and, as I found out later, to keep me out of trouble. I was standing in the office, looking out of the window that looked out into the shop. I saw a big man, with a not so friendly face, walking across the shop. He jerked open the office door and said in a surly voice.... "Where's Johnny?" I turned around and glared at him and snapped.... "Out in the shop!" He shut the door and it suddenly dawned on me.... that was Wendell Wiggins. Suddenly the door opened and the man stuck his head in the door and said.... "You're Johnny's daughter." I replied.... "You're Wendell Wiggins." He smiled and it was love at first sight.
I had been hearing about Wendell Wiggins for several months, and I knew that he was quite a character. After that chance meeting in the office at Superior Diesel .... I found out, he was! He had the most amazing laugh and his face would light up when he laughed. His eyes were icy blue, his voice was quiet, but when he spoke, you listened.
Even though there was a 17 year age difference, we had a special bond. He was so intelligent, and he loved to read, one of the many things we had in common. Driving a truck had allowed Wendell to see so many different places and meet lots of interesting people. I always loved to hear my daddy, Pa and my uncles, tell the most hilarious "truck driving" stories, and Wendell loved telling "truck driving" stories too. Wendell always had a story, he was very opinionated and he loved to experience life. He actually moved to Australia for a year, to drive a truck! He also loved his boys.... Kent, Greg and Bo. Bo passed away many years later and he had recently told me that he and Greg were not on good terms. In later years, he married his 2nd wife, Melissa and they have a son, Jesse. This son, born in Wendell's later years, was the apple of his eye. Jesse was born with a nub for one of his lower legs and was eventually fitted with a prosthetic leg. As Wendell would say, Jesse never missed a step, he played basketball and whatever he set out to do, he accomplished. Wendell was so proud.
I could always make Wendell laugh, and I did so quite often, because I loved his laugh. He always made me laugh too, with all of his stories. I really think Wendell had a great deal of love and respect for me, even though I was just a kid. He said that I was a very smart young lady and he was amazed at how I could carry on an adult, intelligent conversation, but still have that little girl smile and that twinkle of mischief in my eyes.
He loved to take pictures and he always took pictures of me while we were talking. He said it helped him to remember my face and my smile. He could be so sweet like that.
Over the years life happened, and we lost contact with one another. I knew in my heart that our bond of friendship would always hold fast and that one day we would reconnect.
I never gave up on finding him and one day we did find each other again. It was just as I had thought, nothing had changed. Well, maybe a few things, but he was my Wendell, my friend. About 5 years ago, Meredith and I went to Alabama with Ronnie on a service call and he took me to see Wendell. I wanted two of the favorite men in my life to finally meet. We met at a restaurant and as we pulled into the parking place, I saw Wendell getting out of his car. My heart was beating so fast, I was so excited. He saw me and he smiled that smile. He was smaller and a little older, but he spoke, we embraced, and the years fell away.... this was my good friend.
Melissa told me that Wendell had a stroke over the weekend, and there was so much bleeding, there was nothing else they could do. She said that they had taken him off of the ventilator and she and Kent and Jesse stayed with him. He left this world and walked into the arms of Jesus, at 4:56pm on this day.... Sunday, August 30, 2015. My heart is heavy, I'm so sad.... my thoughts and prayers are with Melissa and his sons, and I pray that the Lord will comfort them and give them peace. Wendell was the kind of man, that when you met him, you would never forget him.
I will never forget him.... his smile, his laugh, our talks. He treated me with respect and he never once made me feel like I was not enough, smart enough.... pretty enough.... good enough. To him.... I was just enough. I can't travel to AL and Melissa understood this, she told me that Wendell would have wanted her to call me, he would want me to know. One day, if the Lord tarries His return, He will lead me into Heaven. I will see the beautiful faces of my family and the wonders and beauty of Heaven. Suddenly, I will hear this familiar voice saying.... "you're Johnny's daughter," and I'll look around and reply.... " you're Wendell Wiggins." He will smile that smile, we will hug and it will be as if nothing had ever changed.
I love you.... Wendell O'Neal Wiggins. You taught me so many things, you made me feel special, you made me laugh and today.... I cried.
Wendell and I first met in 1970 at my daddy's garage on Asheville Highway. I started working there during the summers to help daddy out and, as I found out later, to keep me out of trouble. I was standing in the office, looking out of the window that looked out into the shop. I saw a big man, with a not so friendly face, walking across the shop. He jerked open the office door and said in a surly voice.... "Where's Johnny?" I turned around and glared at him and snapped.... "Out in the shop!" He shut the door and it suddenly dawned on me.... that was Wendell Wiggins. Suddenly the door opened and the man stuck his head in the door and said.... "You're Johnny's daughter." I replied.... "You're Wendell Wiggins." He smiled and it was love at first sight.
I had been hearing about Wendell Wiggins for several months, and I knew that he was quite a character. After that chance meeting in the office at Superior Diesel .... I found out, he was! He had the most amazing laugh and his face would light up when he laughed. His eyes were icy blue, his voice was quiet, but when he spoke, you listened.
Even though there was a 17 year age difference, we had a special bond. He was so intelligent, and he loved to read, one of the many things we had in common. Driving a truck had allowed Wendell to see so many different places and meet lots of interesting people. I always loved to hear my daddy, Pa and my uncles, tell the most hilarious "truck driving" stories, and Wendell loved telling "truck driving" stories too. Wendell always had a story, he was very opinionated and he loved to experience life. He actually moved to Australia for a year, to drive a truck! He also loved his boys.... Kent, Greg and Bo. Bo passed away many years later and he had recently told me that he and Greg were not on good terms. In later years, he married his 2nd wife, Melissa and they have a son, Jesse. This son, born in Wendell's later years, was the apple of his eye. Jesse was born with a nub for one of his lower legs and was eventually fitted with a prosthetic leg. As Wendell would say, Jesse never missed a step, he played basketball and whatever he set out to do, he accomplished. Wendell was so proud.
I could always make Wendell laugh, and I did so quite often, because I loved his laugh. He always made me laugh too, with all of his stories. I really think Wendell had a great deal of love and respect for me, even though I was just a kid. He said that I was a very smart young lady and he was amazed at how I could carry on an adult, intelligent conversation, but still have that little girl smile and that twinkle of mischief in my eyes.
He loved to take pictures and he always took pictures of me while we were talking. He said it helped him to remember my face and my smile. He could be so sweet like that.
Over the years life happened, and we lost contact with one another. I knew in my heart that our bond of friendship would always hold fast and that one day we would reconnect.
I never gave up on finding him and one day we did find each other again. It was just as I had thought, nothing had changed. Well, maybe a few things, but he was my Wendell, my friend. About 5 years ago, Meredith and I went to Alabama with Ronnie on a service call and he took me to see Wendell. I wanted two of the favorite men in my life to finally meet. We met at a restaurant and as we pulled into the parking place, I saw Wendell getting out of his car. My heart was beating so fast, I was so excited. He saw me and he smiled that smile. He was smaller and a little older, but he spoke, we embraced, and the years fell away.... this was my good friend.
Melissa told me that Wendell had a stroke over the weekend, and there was so much bleeding, there was nothing else they could do. She said that they had taken him off of the ventilator and she and Kent and Jesse stayed with him. He left this world and walked into the arms of Jesus, at 4:56pm on this day.... Sunday, August 30, 2015. My heart is heavy, I'm so sad.... my thoughts and prayers are with Melissa and his sons, and I pray that the Lord will comfort them and give them peace. Wendell was the kind of man, that when you met him, you would never forget him.
I will never forget him.... his smile, his laugh, our talks. He treated me with respect and he never once made me feel like I was not enough, smart enough.... pretty enough.... good enough. To him.... I was just enough. I can't travel to AL and Melissa understood this, she told me that Wendell would have wanted her to call me, he would want me to know. One day, if the Lord tarries His return, He will lead me into Heaven. I will see the beautiful faces of my family and the wonders and beauty of Heaven. Suddenly, I will hear this familiar voice saying.... "you're Johnny's daughter," and I'll look around and reply.... " you're Wendell Wiggins." He will smile that smile, we will hug and it will be as if nothing had ever changed.
I love you.... Wendell O'Neal Wiggins. You taught me so many things, you made me feel special, you made me laugh and today.... I cried.
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Enjoying family time....
Happy 4th of July.... Just checking in because I changed some things on my blog page. Nobody reads this anyway, but me.
The weather is much cooler, cloudy, but we can swim. For some reason, as long as it's not Arctic, I can get in. I love, love, love to just float around on my noodle. The best way to swim is naked, but we have a little guy next door that may pop in, and I wouldn't want to scare him.
Enjoying our usual 4th meal.... hash, baked beans, potato salad, cantaloupe and watermelon.... and it's just the 3 of us. Justin, Jordan and Phoenix may come tomorrow afternoon to swim.
Praying for our country, America the beautiful, from sea to shining sea. We need more of your grace and mercy, Heavenly Father. We are blessed beyond measure, but we take it for granted. There are others who are trying so hard to take it away, and we are standing by in our complacency, and letting them get away with it.
Thank you Lord for your blessings, your grace and mercy. Help us to look to You Father, for guidance, make us aware of your Holy Presence and lead us.
I am thankful and blessed.... in good times and bad.... I Praise You Lord of Heaven.
The weather is much cooler, cloudy, but we can swim. For some reason, as long as it's not Arctic, I can get in. I love, love, love to just float around on my noodle. The best way to swim is naked, but we have a little guy next door that may pop in, and I wouldn't want to scare him.
Enjoying our usual 4th meal.... hash, baked beans, potato salad, cantaloupe and watermelon.... and it's just the 3 of us. Justin, Jordan and Phoenix may come tomorrow afternoon to swim.
Praying for our country, America the beautiful, from sea to shining sea. We need more of your grace and mercy, Heavenly Father. We are blessed beyond measure, but we take it for granted. There are others who are trying so hard to take it away, and we are standing by in our complacency, and letting them get away with it.
Thank you Lord for your blessings, your grace and mercy. Help us to look to You Father, for guidance, make us aware of your Holy Presence and lead us.
I am thankful and blessed.... in good times and bad.... I Praise You Lord of Heaven.
Friday, July 3, 2015
I'm Still Here
Thank you Heavenly Father.... I'm still here.
Of course each day is an adjustment, one step forward, two steps back. Most days are worse
than others, and it will always be a work in progress.
However, by the grace and mercy of my Heavenly Father.... I am blessed and I'm still here.
Tomorrow is the celebration of our country's independence. In the last few months, our country has suffered many set backs. Useless violence, murders and rioting in the streets.... Oh my God it sounds like Iraq. Last week, 9 precious people were gunned down during Wednesday night services in their church in uptown Charleston, SC, by a 21 year old young man, who said he wanted to start another civil war. Again, the question of removing the confederate flag from the SC state capitol grounds, is in the news. It is being suggested that the flag be moved to the Confederate Relic Room and placed on display. When the confederate flag was first moved from the Capitol building to the grounds.... I was upset, because this was part of our Southern heritage. However, this flag stood for slavery.... for the cruel treatment of one race of people by another race of people. It's time to move it and try and heal the wounds of our state.
I am proud to be an American from the state of South Carolina. I am proud that even though our state is in pain from the senseless murders in Charleston, any disagreements have been peaceful, and thank the Lord, no rioting in the streets. But.... our state needs you Lord.... our nation needs you. Be with our citizens, keep us safe.... free us from the hate and violence that holds our people hostage, and give us love and peace.
Happy Birthday America
God Bless America
Of course each day is an adjustment, one step forward, two steps back. Most days are worse
than others, and it will always be a work in progress.
However, by the grace and mercy of my Heavenly Father.... I am blessed and I'm still here.
Tomorrow is the celebration of our country's independence. In the last few months, our country has suffered many set backs. Useless violence, murders and rioting in the streets.... Oh my God it sounds like Iraq. Last week, 9 precious people were gunned down during Wednesday night services in their church in uptown Charleston, SC, by a 21 year old young man, who said he wanted to start another civil war. Again, the question of removing the confederate flag from the SC state capitol grounds, is in the news. It is being suggested that the flag be moved to the Confederate Relic Room and placed on display. When the confederate flag was first moved from the Capitol building to the grounds.... I was upset, because this was part of our Southern heritage. However, this flag stood for slavery.... for the cruel treatment of one race of people by another race of people. It's time to move it and try and heal the wounds of our state.
I am proud to be an American from the state of South Carolina. I am proud that even though our state is in pain from the senseless murders in Charleston, any disagreements have been peaceful, and thank the Lord, no rioting in the streets. But.... our state needs you Lord.... our nation needs you. Be with our citizens, keep us safe.... free us from the hate and violence that holds our people hostage, and give us love and peace.
Happy Birthday America
God Bless America
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Four years ago....
Four years ago today, I went in to wake mama for breakfast, and Jesus had come to take her home, to be with Him and to see daddy.
It's still so very hard to talk about that day. I know that her home going was something that mama had been praying for, she was tired, sick and missing my daddy. She felt that she was a burden to us and nobody ever came to see her.
I still remember my face was numb, something that happens when I'm in shock, I kept calling her.... "mama? mama?" I told Meredith to go and get her daddy, she was right behind me, and I could hear her crying as she ran down the hall. I touched mama, she was warm, so she hadn't been gone long. I remember her calling me the night before, and asking me who the man on the couch was? I had assured her that there was no man on the couch, but it must have been Jesus. Daddy saw an angel a few days before he went home.
I kissed mama's face and kept saying "mama, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. You were a wonderful mama, I'm so sorry!! Thank you for everything you did, I love you mama! I'm so very sorry, mama! mama!"
Ronnie came running into the room, with tears in his eyes and a look of shock, Meredith was sobbing. I looked at him and said.... "my mama is gone!"
The night before, Cookie and Mark were here. We were talking and laughing about good times, never knowing that this would be our last time together with mama. The protective wall that I put around my heart, suddenly was there, and I realized, that I had calls to make and things to do. It was the same thing that happened when daddy passed away, I had to be strong, take care of things, I could not break down!!
I prayed for the Lord to give me the strength to take care of the things that needed to be done. Calls were made, people came, they talked to me, they brought food and we made arrangements. I can recall almost everything, but it's like I'm watching a movie. I was just so tired.... I did eat, but I can't really say I tasted much. People were crying and talking about mama, and how they loved her and would miss her. I'm thinking to myself.... where were you? Every Sunday I would dress her nice and fix her hair, she would put on lipstick, and then wait.... and wait.... and wait. Finally, at the end of the day she would look at me and say.... 'they didn't come, did they?"
Mama could be difficult. She was strong willed, opinionated, you always knew what she was thinking. She was the meanest woman that I ever knew, and I told her that. Our bringing her here was a difficult adjustment for everybody, including her. There were ugly things said, very harsh and hurtful words. There was so much anger and resentment. There was laughter, talking about good memories, crying, apologies, hugs and kisses, looking through old pictures, sharing meals together, watching her "cooking shows" together and women's softball and NASCAR. It was so hard and it was special. We did the best we could to make it work and it would hurt me so badly when she would say, "I know I'm a burden." She was not a burden, but she was demanding. I kept pushing her to do more for herself, but she did the best she could.
I am sorry. Sorry that she and I wasted so many years at odds with one another. She was determined to make me be what she wanted, and I was so determined that I was never going to be like that. I hated it when people would tell me I looked like her, and she wasn't too happy about that either. I'm sorry that I could never truly remember the good times, without recalling the bad times, the cruel times, the times she beat me and took everything out on me. The times she was so critical of everything I did, said, wore. The times I never felt that I was ever good enough for her. I'm sorry for the times I resented her.... and yes.... the times I hated her. A month or so before she passed away.... she made a big mess in the bathroom and she wanted Meredith to clean it up. Meredith was only 15 years old and she was already doing more that any of the others, to help me take care of mama. Meredith told her no and mama gritted her teeth and called her "a bitch!" Meredith can be a bitch, but her dad and I are the only ones that can tell her that. I saw black, never a good thing, because I loose control. I dismissed Meredith from the bathroom, and I cleaned up mama and the bathroom and I put her in the wheelchair. I remember she kept saying something, but I really can't remember what it was. All I do remember was that I was so mad that I was screaming at her, cursing her and calling her some of the names that she use to call me growing up. I reminded her of EVERYTHING!! Things that I feel in my heart that she remembered, but had hoped I hadn't, she should have known better, I never forget. I was screaming so loudly and cursing, that I was actually spitting. Finally.... I pushed her away and left the room. I was sick, so sick! Sick to my very core, that I had unleashed all of those years of pent up anger. Lord, what have I done?
Mama and I certainly needed to clear the air, but not this way. This was not my way. An hour or so after my horrible tantrum, mama called me in to the bathroom to help her. When I finished cleaning her up and helped her back in the chair.... she grabbed me around the waist and hugged me so tightly and began to cry. "I am so sorry. I love you and I appreciate everything that you do for me, everything that Ronnie and Meredith do for me. I am so sorry." I cried and grabbed her and hugged her, "Mama, I am so very sorry. I love you too, I am so sorry." Years of hurt and pain, melted away.... we were going to be okay, finally. She had told me that even though the apartment that Ronnie had built on to the back of the house was beautiful, she wished that she was still in her little bedroom that we had made for her across the hall from Meredith. She was lonely and afraid back in her place, and even though we would ask her to eat with us, she would say that was our family time. We tried to tell her that she was part of our family and we tried to include her, but she just never felt at home, and that hurts me.
There were times when we would put her in the car and go get ice cream and then we would ride around. We were able to take her to church a couple of times, but she missed daddy so badly and NO ONE CAME. It broke my heart to see her waiting. Well, later in the afternoon, after she passed away, I whispered to her.... "Mama, they came."
Mama.... I miss you so much. I miss the talks we had and the people we would remember and talk about. I miss holding your tiny little hands and watching them glide over those piano keys, so effortlessly and beautifully. I now know, that you may have acted strong and fearless when daddy was gone for weeks at a time, but you were actually a frightened young wife and mother. Solely responsible for three babies, with no help from anyone cause, we lived in Cayce away from Nannie and Papa, and your support system. You said I was like a little map, and remembered how to get back home. You made sure that the house was spotless, our clothes were also spotless, and the meals were amazing. You kept us grounded in church and you were responsible for our love of music. Ronnie travels and is away from home a lot, and I now know how you felt, only I'm never afraid, because you hide your fear so well, I really did learn to be strong and fearless. Daddy always did say I was the strongest and the meanest.
Mama.... I love you so much. In spite of our differences.... you taught me how to be a hard working wife and mother, and to keep a clean home. You taught me to stay grounded in church, and to raise my children in church, to have manners and respect for others. Because of our differences, I am not the same kind of parent that you were. Yes, they have manners and respect, and they are hard working and responsible, but I have tried to be more patient and to give them a fair chance. Not so quick to slap and ask questions like you, but more like daddy. I just can't inflict that pain and humiliation of the "slap and ask" method you used.
There is not a day of these four years, that I don't think of you and daddy. I'm happy that you are pain free and that you and daddy and the rest of the family, are laughing and running and worshipping at the feet of our precious Jesus. I will see you all again one day, but hopefully not for a little while. I want to see Meredith established in her career as a teacher, married and a mother. I also want to watch our baby girl Phoenix grow up and maybe even have a little brother or sister.
Happy Home Going, Mama- Miss Maggie- Hagatha, until we meet again.
Your loving daughter,
Amelia Ann Easler (Megie) Wall
It's still so very hard to talk about that day. I know that her home going was something that mama had been praying for, she was tired, sick and missing my daddy. She felt that she was a burden to us and nobody ever came to see her.
I still remember my face was numb, something that happens when I'm in shock, I kept calling her.... "mama? mama?" I told Meredith to go and get her daddy, she was right behind me, and I could hear her crying as she ran down the hall. I touched mama, she was warm, so she hadn't been gone long. I remember her calling me the night before, and asking me who the man on the couch was? I had assured her that there was no man on the couch, but it must have been Jesus. Daddy saw an angel a few days before he went home.
I kissed mama's face and kept saying "mama, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. You were a wonderful mama, I'm so sorry!! Thank you for everything you did, I love you mama! I'm so very sorry, mama! mama!"
Ronnie came running into the room, with tears in his eyes and a look of shock, Meredith was sobbing. I looked at him and said.... "my mama is gone!"
The night before, Cookie and Mark were here. We were talking and laughing about good times, never knowing that this would be our last time together with mama. The protective wall that I put around my heart, suddenly was there, and I realized, that I had calls to make and things to do. It was the same thing that happened when daddy passed away, I had to be strong, take care of things, I could not break down!!
I prayed for the Lord to give me the strength to take care of the things that needed to be done. Calls were made, people came, they talked to me, they brought food and we made arrangements. I can recall almost everything, but it's like I'm watching a movie. I was just so tired.... I did eat, but I can't really say I tasted much. People were crying and talking about mama, and how they loved her and would miss her. I'm thinking to myself.... where were you? Every Sunday I would dress her nice and fix her hair, she would put on lipstick, and then wait.... and wait.... and wait. Finally, at the end of the day she would look at me and say.... 'they didn't come, did they?"
Mama could be difficult. She was strong willed, opinionated, you always knew what she was thinking. She was the meanest woman that I ever knew, and I told her that. Our bringing her here was a difficult adjustment for everybody, including her. There were ugly things said, very harsh and hurtful words. There was so much anger and resentment. There was laughter, talking about good memories, crying, apologies, hugs and kisses, looking through old pictures, sharing meals together, watching her "cooking shows" together and women's softball and NASCAR. It was so hard and it was special. We did the best we could to make it work and it would hurt me so badly when she would say, "I know I'm a burden." She was not a burden, but she was demanding. I kept pushing her to do more for herself, but she did the best she could.
I am sorry. Sorry that she and I wasted so many years at odds with one another. She was determined to make me be what she wanted, and I was so determined that I was never going to be like that. I hated it when people would tell me I looked like her, and she wasn't too happy about that either. I'm sorry that I could never truly remember the good times, without recalling the bad times, the cruel times, the times she beat me and took everything out on me. The times she was so critical of everything I did, said, wore. The times I never felt that I was ever good enough for her. I'm sorry for the times I resented her.... and yes.... the times I hated her. A month or so before she passed away.... she made a big mess in the bathroom and she wanted Meredith to clean it up. Meredith was only 15 years old and she was already doing more that any of the others, to help me take care of mama. Meredith told her no and mama gritted her teeth and called her "a bitch!" Meredith can be a bitch, but her dad and I are the only ones that can tell her that. I saw black, never a good thing, because I loose control. I dismissed Meredith from the bathroom, and I cleaned up mama and the bathroom and I put her in the wheelchair. I remember she kept saying something, but I really can't remember what it was. All I do remember was that I was so mad that I was screaming at her, cursing her and calling her some of the names that she use to call me growing up. I reminded her of EVERYTHING!! Things that I feel in my heart that she remembered, but had hoped I hadn't, she should have known better, I never forget. I was screaming so loudly and cursing, that I was actually spitting. Finally.... I pushed her away and left the room. I was sick, so sick! Sick to my very core, that I had unleashed all of those years of pent up anger. Lord, what have I done?
Mama and I certainly needed to clear the air, but not this way. This was not my way. An hour or so after my horrible tantrum, mama called me in to the bathroom to help her. When I finished cleaning her up and helped her back in the chair.... she grabbed me around the waist and hugged me so tightly and began to cry. "I am so sorry. I love you and I appreciate everything that you do for me, everything that Ronnie and Meredith do for me. I am so sorry." I cried and grabbed her and hugged her, "Mama, I am so very sorry. I love you too, I am so sorry." Years of hurt and pain, melted away.... we were going to be okay, finally. She had told me that even though the apartment that Ronnie had built on to the back of the house was beautiful, she wished that she was still in her little bedroom that we had made for her across the hall from Meredith. She was lonely and afraid back in her place, and even though we would ask her to eat with us, she would say that was our family time. We tried to tell her that she was part of our family and we tried to include her, but she just never felt at home, and that hurts me.
There were times when we would put her in the car and go get ice cream and then we would ride around. We were able to take her to church a couple of times, but she missed daddy so badly and NO ONE CAME. It broke my heart to see her waiting. Well, later in the afternoon, after she passed away, I whispered to her.... "Mama, they came."
Mama.... I miss you so much. I miss the talks we had and the people we would remember and talk about. I miss holding your tiny little hands and watching them glide over those piano keys, so effortlessly and beautifully. I now know, that you may have acted strong and fearless when daddy was gone for weeks at a time, but you were actually a frightened young wife and mother. Solely responsible for three babies, with no help from anyone cause, we lived in Cayce away from Nannie and Papa, and your support system. You said I was like a little map, and remembered how to get back home. You made sure that the house was spotless, our clothes were also spotless, and the meals were amazing. You kept us grounded in church and you were responsible for our love of music. Ronnie travels and is away from home a lot, and I now know how you felt, only I'm never afraid, because you hide your fear so well, I really did learn to be strong and fearless. Daddy always did say I was the strongest and the meanest.
Mama.... I love you so much. In spite of our differences.... you taught me how to be a hard working wife and mother, and to keep a clean home. You taught me to stay grounded in church, and to raise my children in church, to have manners and respect for others. Because of our differences, I am not the same kind of parent that you were. Yes, they have manners and respect, and they are hard working and responsible, but I have tried to be more patient and to give them a fair chance. Not so quick to slap and ask questions like you, but more like daddy. I just can't inflict that pain and humiliation of the "slap and ask" method you used.
There is not a day of these four years, that I don't think of you and daddy. I'm happy that you are pain free and that you and daddy and the rest of the family, are laughing and running and worshipping at the feet of our precious Jesus. I will see you all again one day, but hopefully not for a little while. I want to see Meredith established in her career as a teacher, married and a mother. I also want to watch our baby girl Phoenix grow up and maybe even have a little brother or sister.
Happy Home Going, Mama- Miss Maggie- Hagatha, until we meet again.
Your loving daughter,
Amelia Ann Easler (Megie) Wall
Monday, March 30, 2015
After all.... I'm an adult
Things are still going fairly well, because the Lord is changing me. No.... I'm still not perfect and I never will be, but I am trying so hard not to argue. Ronnie and I were having a discussion that could have easily turned into an argument and he asked me why I always say things, when I am trying so hard to keep my mouth shut? Well that question in it's self could have caused another discussion, but I let that one slide. I told him that I am like Sophia on Golden Girls.... sometimes it's hard to keep it in, I feel like "I'm cramping up."
When I went to the doctor, of course the main topic was weight loss. He doesn't know me well, because I'm a new patient, and he is strictly be the book, I guess it will take some time. Ronnie told Meredith to go with me so she could ask about my drinking Coke Zero, well you know he said no soft drinks.
I told Ronnie that I would stick to one small glass at night with my meds. I had a little Coke Zero in the fridge and there were 4 in the pantry. The next evening, when I drank the last of the Coke Zero that was in the fridge, I went to throw the bottle into the trash, and I just looked over at the shelf, where the Cokes were.... THEY WERE GONE!! Did you understand what I said? THEY WERE GONE!! They had hidden them!! I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, I was so hurt. I tried searching in every nook and cranny I could possibly look in, but they were hidden up on a shelf somewhere, so I couldn't reach them!! I felt betrayed.... the worst possible hurt.
This was the straw.... Of course they control every possible area in my life, Meredith tattles on me and everything I say to Ronnie, is wrong or he disagrees with, but this was the ultimate.
Cookie tried to sneak me some smaller bottles in, but Meredith over-heard her and that was that. She and Ronnie became really upset, but I think they realized.... some way.... some how.... I will get what I want. Meredith is really helping me stay on my diet, but they want me to relax a little on the weekend. This will always be a way of life for me, and I may relax sometimes, but if they keep hiding the Coke Zero, I will find a way.... after all.... I'm an adult.
When I went to the doctor, of course the main topic was weight loss. He doesn't know me well, because I'm a new patient, and he is strictly be the book, I guess it will take some time. Ronnie told Meredith to go with me so she could ask about my drinking Coke Zero, well you know he said no soft drinks.
I told Ronnie that I would stick to one small glass at night with my meds. I had a little Coke Zero in the fridge and there were 4 in the pantry. The next evening, when I drank the last of the Coke Zero that was in the fridge, I went to throw the bottle into the trash, and I just looked over at the shelf, where the Cokes were.... THEY WERE GONE!! Did you understand what I said? THEY WERE GONE!! They had hidden them!! I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, I was so hurt. I tried searching in every nook and cranny I could possibly look in, but they were hidden up on a shelf somewhere, so I couldn't reach them!! I felt betrayed.... the worst possible hurt.
This was the straw.... Of course they control every possible area in my life, Meredith tattles on me and everything I say to Ronnie, is wrong or he disagrees with, but this was the ultimate.
Cookie tried to sneak me some smaller bottles in, but Meredith over-heard her and that was that. She and Ronnie became really upset, but I think they realized.... some way.... some how.... I will get what I want. Meredith is really helping me stay on my diet, but they want me to relax a little on the weekend. This will always be a way of life for me, and I may relax sometimes, but if they keep hiding the Coke Zero, I will find a way.... after all.... I'm an adult.
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Checking In
Things are going so well, and I am thankful that the Lord has heard and answered my prayers.
Phoenix just celebrated her 2nd birthday! Our precious baby girl is 2 years old and she is beautiful
and perfect in every way. Justin and Jordan gave her a "Horse" themed party, with decorations that looked like a farm, with fences and different things you would find on a horse farm. She had some
of her little friends there, all boys!! Of course the family was there and some of Justin and Jordan's friends, and we all had so much fun watching the kids play. Phoenix was so happy and enjoyed herself so much. She had on a little dress with a horse on the front, she looked so sweet. She is growing and learning and talking up a storm.
This past week was spring break for Meredith. Ronnie was gone all week to VA and DC.... so it was just us girls. We had so much fun being together, baking muffins and we even went to Starbucks. She
takes good care of me, even if she can be a little "Natzi."
Ronnie is home now and next week, his schedule is not as full, so he will be home at night.
Lord.... I ask your blessings on my sweet family. Give them good health, keep them safe and thank you for everything you have blessed us with and for loving us.
Phoenix just celebrated her 2nd birthday! Our precious baby girl is 2 years old and she is beautiful
and perfect in every way. Justin and Jordan gave her a "Horse" themed party, with decorations that looked like a farm, with fences and different things you would find on a horse farm. She had some
of her little friends there, all boys!! Of course the family was there and some of Justin and Jordan's friends, and we all had so much fun watching the kids play. Phoenix was so happy and enjoyed herself so much. She had on a little dress with a horse on the front, she looked so sweet. She is growing and learning and talking up a storm.
This past week was spring break for Meredith. Ronnie was gone all week to VA and DC.... so it was just us girls. We had so much fun being together, baking muffins and we even went to Starbucks. She
takes good care of me, even if she can be a little "Natzi."
Ronnie is home now and next week, his schedule is not as full, so he will be home at night.
Lord.... I ask your blessings on my sweet family. Give them good health, keep them safe and thank you for everything you have blessed us with and for loving us.
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