One thing I have realized lately is.... I'm tired. I have lost 68 pounds and I do feel more like doing things around the house. It's been 2 months since my sweet little girl has had to do the dishes. I have also been able to do some of the laundry and a little of the mopping. So.... I'm tired. It's a good tired and I am so glad that I have been able to help out with the housework.
I haven't been able to work since 2005 so therefore, I have in no way contributed to the financial up-keep of our home. I wasn't able to do much, if any, of the up-keep of our home. All of the money brought in, was from Ronnie's hard work. His work takes him away from home at least 3-4 days a week. It's lonely for him and for Meredith and me. Poor Meredith, went to school, maintained an A-B average, was involved with her church activities and with drama, but she cleaned the house, did the laundry, cooked and cared for me during this time. I have realized.... that I am no longer sure of what my place is anymore. This makes me sad.
I have realized.... that life is not fair and can be cruel. Illness took so many things from me, my independence, my ability to contribute and my self confidence. The government has ruled that I am
not entitled to my disability and this adds to my lack of self confidence and ability to help with our finances. This make me angry.
Well.... I am not going to let this get me down. The Lord has blessed me and I am thankful, so.... I will try harder to do more to help out around here. I may have to rest in between but, that's okay. God is in control and He will give me what I need.
I have realized.... Life is too short to waste it on what is in the past.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Monday, September 1, 2014
Moving Forward....
I titled this "Moving Forward," because I can't possibly fill in all of the blanks from the lapse in posting on my blog, so I am going to take it from here. Well, even here has a starting point.
As you can see, this is Labor Day.... September 1st. We had breakfast this morning at the Cracker Barrel. Ronnie, Meredith and I, met Justin, Jordan and Phe, Leigh and Sid and Jeff, Mindy and Parker there. It was nice, having my family and good friends with me. Of course, my favorite thing is watching Phoenix. Watching Phoenix grow.... watching Phoenix play and explore. Watching Phoenix, as her eyes light up and that smile comes across her face. Oh dear Lord, she is beautiful, and so smart. Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing our family with this most precious treasure and for my family and friends.
On Thursday of last week, Cookie and I attended the funeral of an 18 year old young man, killed in a one car accident. His grandparents are our friends, Edward and Ann Peeler and my heart breaks for their loss. Death is such a hard thing to process. You inevitably realize that death will come to all of us at our appointed time, but you think it will be when you're 96 years of age, you're tired and ready to go home to be with Jesus and your family and friends, who are there already.
You don't understand the loss of infants, children, teens or young people. You just think that death comes to the elderly, not to the ones who are just beginning. However, this is not the case. Babies get cancer and die. Illness, accidents, unexplainable situations, take the young away. I know that there is a reason and one day the reason will be revealed. But, in the meantime, families are burying their young people and grieving over the loss of a life just beginning and a future that will never be. I read on FB this statement: "Our loved ones who are gone, are a part of our past and they leave behind sweet memories. However, if they are believers in Christ, they are also in our future. Each day we live, brings us closer to Heaven, closer to life eternal with Jesus and with our family and friends." Hallelujah.... Life Eternal with Jesus, who paid the ultimate price for our sins, Life Eternal in a Home, more beautiful than we can imagine. Life Eternal with our family and friends, reunited, never to be separated again.
So.... we move forward.
As you can see, this is Labor Day.... September 1st. We had breakfast this morning at the Cracker Barrel. Ronnie, Meredith and I, met Justin, Jordan and Phe, Leigh and Sid and Jeff, Mindy and Parker there. It was nice, having my family and good friends with me. Of course, my favorite thing is watching Phoenix. Watching Phoenix grow.... watching Phoenix play and explore. Watching Phoenix, as her eyes light up and that smile comes across her face. Oh dear Lord, she is beautiful, and so smart. Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing our family with this most precious treasure and for my family and friends.
On Thursday of last week, Cookie and I attended the funeral of an 18 year old young man, killed in a one car accident. His grandparents are our friends, Edward and Ann Peeler and my heart breaks for their loss. Death is such a hard thing to process. You inevitably realize that death will come to all of us at our appointed time, but you think it will be when you're 96 years of age, you're tired and ready to go home to be with Jesus and your family and friends, who are there already.
You don't understand the loss of infants, children, teens or young people. You just think that death comes to the elderly, not to the ones who are just beginning. However, this is not the case. Babies get cancer and die. Illness, accidents, unexplainable situations, take the young away. I know that there is a reason and one day the reason will be revealed. But, in the meantime, families are burying their young people and grieving over the loss of a life just beginning and a future that will never be. I read on FB this statement: "Our loved ones who are gone, are a part of our past and they leave behind sweet memories. However, if they are believers in Christ, they are also in our future. Each day we live, brings us closer to Heaven, closer to life eternal with Jesus and with our family and friends." Hallelujah.... Life Eternal with Jesus, who paid the ultimate price for our sins, Life Eternal in a Home, more beautiful than we can imagine. Life Eternal with our family and friends, reunited, never to be separated again.
So.... we move forward.
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