Change me....

Okay....

I mentioned to them that we are just not getting along at all and I'm not sure what to do.
Neither one of them seemed to notice or care. They did not make a comment one way or another.

Things would change if, I could just keep my thoughts and opinions to myself. I am still fighting the anger of the entire situation, in fact there was another BIG blow out last night. We were cleaning the kitchen and some of the left overs from the fridge were going, very slowly, down the disposal. I was trying to help things along by mashing some of the food, with my fingers, and helping it down the drain. Suddenly.... there was a loud "NO!" my arm was grabbed and I was scolded because I was going to clog up the disposal. I'm just so tired of being treated like a wayward child. I lost it, again, only I did not say anything to her, but he asked and I told him. Of course, she lied.... she denied that she grabbed my arm!! OMG!! I can't believe this.... I am totally speechless!! The looks he gave me,
that condescending attitude. Not only that, but it's like he keeps score of everything wrong that I have
ever done or anything hurtful that I have ever said. 

Maybe it is my fault. Maybe as I grow older, I am losing it. Oh dear God.... I don't want things to be
this way. Please help me, if I'm the one that needs to change, change me.

I don't know how to be any other way. I am very opinionated and I'm not so nice when I voice my
opinions. But, in all fairness Lord, sometimes they just keep pushing me. They know exactly what
upsets me and it seems they just keep on.... pushing and pushing.

I'm leaving this situation with you, Father. Guide me, control my thoughts, my words and my
actions. Fill me with love and kindness, change me. Help me realize that voicing my opinion
is not always necessary or important. Please forgive me for hurting my family and for being
disobedient to you. I am so very sorry.... I need your help.