Sunday, January 26, 2014

Ramblings II

I am so happy that my cousin, Rebecca read and commented on my blog page. That makes me feel like somebody actually cares. So, I guess I'll try and catch you up.

As I said, the wedding was beautiful and the storm did hold off until they left. They stayed in Charlotte on their honeymoon night because they were catching a plane for a resort in Mexico. Justin had taken a cruise to Mexico with some racing buddies and he had a great time, except his room mate was a drunk. Anyway, I guess they assumed a resort would be just as good or better than a cruise. The only thing, the food is purchased locally and you do have to be careful with the water and the fresh fruits and veggies. Their room wasn't quite ready when they got to the resort, so they decided to eat lunch and then hopefully the room would be ready and they could go for a swim. Unfortunately, Jordan ate a salad and some watermelon and while she was swimming, she told Justin she wasn't feel well. By the time they got back into the room, Jordan became violently ill. Justin called the resort doctor and he came up to the room, charged $200.00 and told them he thought it was food poisoning and she needed to be taken to the ER. The ambulance came and started an IV, charged them $450.00 and took her to the hospital. When they arrived, the doctor refused to help her until they paid $2000.00. Justin told them that he had insurance and he wasn't paying them any cash. They took out the IV, put them in a taxi and sent them back to the resort, also the taxi charge was $45. Justin was hysterical and he called Leigh to see if she could help them get home. She did work it out for them to change their flight home with no charge, but the travel agency could not get anything back from the resort. They flew home on Monday evening after 1 full day at the resort. Jordan went to the doctor the next day and he diagnosed her with e-coli. Bless her sweet heart, she was so sick for about a week. I contacted the US Embassy in Mexico and told them what had happened and that I felt that the resort should pay them back all of their money, but it never happened. I really felt so badly for them and was happy when they were able to take a trip to Gatlinburg one week-end for a honeymoon trip.

Things settled in to a routine, but Mama was becoming more depressed and less mobile. She was also becoming so mean, much more than she had been. I realize she was sick, she was frustrated and she missed daddy. She also kept telling me she knew she was a burden and that we would be better off without her here. That always broke my heart and I was trying so hard to make her comfortable and to make sure she realized that she was a part of our family and that we thought that we had done the best thing for her. In the beginning it was rough but I really thought things were getting better, boy was I wrong. She was in and out of the hospital several times and each time she came back home, she was weaker and more depressed. Home Health was so helpful, but they told me that Mama wasn't making progress and they were going to turn her over to Hospice. Of course everybody freaks out when they hear Hospice, but the care is more accessible (24/7) and the care was more intense and involved. They were so patient and kind. As time went on, Mama had totally given up and was beginning to get physically weaker. We finally had to put her in a hospital bed and she developed a serious UTI. Mary Ann (Hospice Nurse) put in a catheter and her urine was nothing but thick and bloody and had a horrible odor. Her bag had to be emptied 2x daily and we started pushing the water. They also put her on a very mild dosage of morphine at night, to help her relax and breathe better. In a couple of weeks her urine was clear, it looked like gold and she felt so much better.

Justin and Jordan went to the Outer Banks for their 1st anniversary. On Friday, May 13th, Hospice came in and checked mom over and gave her a good bath. Later that evening Cookie and Mark came over for a visit. We had a wonderful time with mama, talking and laughing and remembering good times. After Cookie and Mark left. I gave mom her night time meds and her water and went into another part of the house. She started talking and then called me back into her part. She asked me who the man was sitting on the corner of the couch? I turned the light on and there was nobody there. I had sat in her wheelchair beside her bed the night before and she asked me to sit on the couch where she said the man was sitting. After a few minutes, I got up, told her I loved her and that I would see her in the morning.

On Saturday morning, May 14th at 10:30am, Meredith and I went back to wake mama for breakfast, luckily I was in front. When I called mama, she didn't answer, I went to the side of the bed and called her again.... she was gone. The man on the couch was her angel and he came sometime around 10am and took her home. She had prayed so many times in the weeks before, for the Lord to take her home, because she was tired. The Lord heard her prayer and brought her to her Heavenly home. She finally saw her Jesus face-to-face and bowed before Him to worship and honor Him. She was cured, her legs were healed and she could walk. She finally saw my daddy, the wonderful man that she had loved for almost 52 years and he smiled that sweet smile and took her by the hand. She saw her parents, her brothers, one of them that she had never met before. Mama was finally home.

I was in shock. Ronnie called Cindy and together she and Mark went to tell Cookie. I called Jordan, the Hospice nurse and then I began to call other family members, friends and church friends. I sat in the wheelchair by her bed and looked at how peaceful she was. Our relationship wasn't always the best, but in the last couple of months things between us had changed, they were better. We loved each other, but we didn't always like each other. Eventually, we realized that we were okay. She was gone.... my breakfast buddy, my Food Network partner was gone. I missed her already. The house seemed empty and quiet. I was happy for her because she was cured, she was with Jesus and with my daddy, but my life would never be the same.

Earlene and daddy's deaths were not unexpected, but the grief and pain were there. Mama's death was inevitable, but I thought we had a little more time and we would have, but she had given up. Her death was still a shock, a deep pain in my heart and I knew it would be some time before I could get through the pain and grief.

Sometimes it still hurts and of course I miss her and my daddy. However, my Heavenly Father carried me through. He gave me peace and comfort during the sad times. He gave me strength during the times I had to take care of everything that needed to be taken care of. I praise my Lord everyday for His faithfulness. I thank Him for holding my hand and guiding me through the lonely days. I love you daddy and mama, I miss you both and I will see you again one day. 

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