Seriously??

Nobody has read my blog in ever so long, so I would love to be able to say exactly what I feel, but you never know, there may be that one person who may just happen to read it. So, I will be nice, but OMG!! it's gonna kill me.

"I'm through.... trust me." I just heard these words a few minutes ago. Is this a warning.... a threat? All that I actually feel is.... RAGE!! I have seen the signs before and I have been here before. I did not like it then and I sure as hell, don't like it now!! I have been diagnosed with OCD and Anger Issues. They actually call it a form of depression, but I don't get depressed and cry or withdraw. I get angry, not just mad. but ANGRY! I know the exact reasons for all of the anger, but I'm not posting them here. I will say this.... I am very vocal and straight forward, I don't clam up or bury my feelings deep inside.... I say it and I get it out. I'm sure this is part of the reason that I have been here before and may possibly be going through all of this again. Only, there will never be a next time. I was pushed into my murderous rages before and people were physically injured, but they survived. Not this time.... I WILL NOT roll over.... I WILL NOT go quietly. I am much older and I am in bad health, but I WILL NOT be blamed for a bunch of bullshit.

I WILL fight back.... I WILL go into a black murderous rage, as I have in the past, and.... I WILL hurt somebody and their survival is questionable. I'm positive they will not recover and be the person they were at one time.

Don't you dare threaten me. Don't you dare give me a reason to doubt your honesty. DON'T PUSH ME!! I am so sick of the condescending attitude.... get your act together. You know, without a shadow of a doubt, that there have been many things beyond my control. Things that would have killed a weaker person and I did my best to fight and overcome, but I had to give in to the inevitable.
But this.... I WILL NOT tolerate!  I WILL NOT give in or give up!

From this moment on.... whatever  happens is of your doing.... not mine. It's your choice....

TO THE END.... TO THE DEATH!!  TRUST ME!!

Things Realized

One thing I have realized lately is.... I'm tired. I have lost 68 pounds and I do feel more like doing things around the house. It's been 2 months since my sweet little girl has had to do the dishes. I have also been able to do some of the laundry and a little of the mopping. So.... I'm tired. It's a good tired and I am so glad that I have been able to help out with the housework.

I haven't been able to work since 2005 so therefore, I have in no way contributed to the financial up-keep of our home. I wasn't able to do much, if any, of the up-keep of our home. All of the money brought in, was from Ronnie's hard work. His work takes him away from home at least 3-4 days a week. It's lonely for him and for Meredith and me. Poor Meredith, went to school, maintained an A-B average, was involved with her church activities and with drama, but she cleaned the house, did the laundry, cooked and cared for me during this time.  I have realized.... that I am no longer sure of what my place is anymore. This makes me sad.

I have realized.... that life is not fair and can be cruel. Illness took so many things from me, my independence, my ability to contribute and my self confidence. The government has ruled that I am
not entitled to my disability and this adds to my lack of self confidence and ability to help with our finances. This make me angry.

Well.... I am not going to let this get me down. The Lord has blessed me and I am thankful, so.... I will try harder to do more to help out around here. I may have to rest in between but, that's okay. God is in control and He will give me what I need.

I have realized.... Life is too short to waste it on what is in the past.

Moving Forward....

I titled this "Moving Forward," because I can't possibly fill in all of the blanks from the lapse in posting on my blog, so I am going to take it from here. Well, even here has a starting point.

As you can see, this is Labor Day.... September 1st. We had breakfast this morning at the Cracker Barrel. Ronnie, Meredith and I, met Justin, Jordan and Phe, Leigh and Sid and Jeff, Mindy and Parker there. It was nice, having my family and good friends with me. Of course, my favorite thing is watching Phoenix. Watching Phoenix grow.... watching Phoenix play and explore. Watching Phoenix, as her eyes light up and that smile comes across her face. Oh dear Lord, she is beautiful, and so smart. Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing our family with this most precious treasure and for my family and friends.

On Thursday of last week, Cookie and I attended the funeral of an 18 year old young man, killed in a one car accident. His grandparents are our friends, Edward and Ann Peeler and my heart breaks for their loss. Death is such a hard thing to process. You inevitably realize that death will come to all of us at our appointed time, but you think it will be when  you're 96 years of age, you're tired and ready to go home to be with Jesus and your family and friends, who are there already.

You don't understand the loss of infants, children, teens or young people. You just think that death comes to the elderly, not to the ones who are just beginning. However, this is not the case. Babies get cancer and die. Illness, accidents, unexplainable situations, take the young away. I know that there is a reason and one day the reason will be revealed. But, in the meantime, families are burying their young people and grieving over the loss of a life just beginning and a future that will never be. I read on FB this statement: "Our loved ones who are gone, are a part of our past and they leave behind sweet memories. However, if they are believers in Christ, they are also in our future. Each day we live, brings us closer to Heaven, closer to life eternal with Jesus and with our family and friends." Hallelujah.... Life Eternal with Jesus, who paid the ultimate price for our sins, Life Eternal in a Home, more beautiful than we can imagine. Life Eternal with our family and friends, reunited, never to be separated again.

So.... we move forward.

School days

School actually started for the district schools on Monday. Jon Mark and Amy's boys started K-4 at
Boiling Springs First Baptist. Kane and Tripp are in the same class and I know they are going to have such a good time together, just like Andy and Justin.

Meredith starts her Sophomore year at Upstate tomorrow. OMG.... I can't believe my baby girl will be a Sophomore in college. It seems just like yesterday that I took her to K-4 at BSFB. I am so proud of her, because she has kept up her grades and maintained a GPA of 3.9 and her scholarships have paid for her college. This year, the scholarship money even paid for her books. We went school supply shopping this week and she got everything she needed. She has her planner filled in with her schedule, her notebooks are ready and her bag is packed. Most of her friends are off at college, and they decorated their dorm rooms with all kinds of neat things. So, she bought a few things to decorate her room and she even worked on a few craft items to make her room different for her Sophomore year.

Father in Heaven.... I pray your protection on the students, teacher and staff, as they begin a new school year. It was posted on FB this afternoon that a Broome High School student collapsed from a medical issue and could not be revived. Lord.... this just breaks my heart. A mom sent her child to school today and her child didn't come home. Please, surround this family with your love. Give the family, friends and classmates comfort, give them peace. And Lord, please give them strength and guidance in the days ahead. AMEN

I really do need to post more often than I do, but nobody reads this anyway.

I will close with this.... Up to now, I have lost 67 pounds. I do feel better about the way I look, but health wise, I still feel like crap. Anyway, I'm praying I can lose about 40 more pounds and stay there.

I love and adore my precious family.... Ronnie and Meredith. Justin, Jordan and Phoenix.... my precious grand daughter. There is Sophia and Petey.... our fur babies, who make us laugh. Protect my family and my friends, and keep them safe.

Speaking of family.... We have a new member in the family. Kasen Dean Horne was born on July 26th to Amy and Dean and big brother, Kane. He is beautiful and of course.... precious.

Good night Mrs. Callabash.... Where ever you are. (Jimmy Durante)

Good day

Today was a good day. Ronnie left to go out of town and that's not good, but Meredith and I had lunch with Debbie and Emily Robinson. Emily is Meredith's BFF and her mom and I sing in the choir together and are good friends.

I don't get out much and it was really nice to go out to lunch like a grown up. We went to the Converse Deli and had salads. That's what you do when you go on a grown up lunch date, eat a salad. Don't get me wrong, I love salads and this was a great salad, but you can't eat like you're at home. You have to have table manners. place your napkins in your lap and no elbows on the table. Eat with your mouth closed and no bodily functions, burping, farting or blowing your nose.

There was a man at the table next to us, who had this ooey,gooey chocolate dessert. OMG, it looked wonderful. I'm not a big dessert eater, as a rule, but there is something about not being able to have something that makes you want it. I wanted to reach across the table, knock the man in the head and steal his dessert.

After we left the deli, we went to Barnes and Noble, Debbie had to pick up a book, and I had coffee and everyone else had cold drinks, like iced coffee, and a chocolate concoction. Again, I was good. We talked and laughed and had a really nice time. It was nice being a grown up for a day and going out.

Now, I'm home in my gown and drinking a nice cold coke zero. I can have this with no guilt, unless I believe all of the stories about sodas, which I don't. I'm a skeptic, especially when it comes to things I like. I'm not dead yet.

Not Quite Catching Up....

Lord, I didn't realize how long it had been since I had posted. I always loved to blog, but like I said before, nobody ever reads my page. I have very few people who post on my FB page unless I post pictures.

I'm sure I will never catch up on everything that has happened, so I may just take it from here.

First thing I really want to address is the number of suicides recently. There have been 3 suicides in the last couple of months. One young man I have known since he was a little guy. His aunt and uncle are good friends and when I heard what had happened, it made me sick to my stomach. Just this past week, a young man in Meredith's college group at church and he also attended Upstate, committed suicide, while his family was on vacation. Then later on in the week, a woman, 48 years old or somewhere around that age. mother of two, school teacher and wonderful Christian woman who was a great encourager to others, committed suicide!! WHY??

What can possible be so horrific that you would take your own life. Of course, we don't know what terrible things these people were facing, but I don't know of anything that God can't carry us through.
I, myself, have been through two painful divorces, the loss of my parents and Ronnie's parents, and endless physical problems, heart surgery and internal bleeding, just to name two and I can honestly say that I felt the peace of God. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, no where close, but I could never put my family and friends through that terrible loss. Death is a loss that you adjust to and deal with, but losing someone from suicide has to be the ultimate. I'm not candy coating death, it's real, it's painful and life changing, but if you know Jesus as your personal Savior, then death is just a step into eternal peace.

I know I may really make some people mad, if anybody is reading this, but suicide is selfish. You may stop living, but the family and friends that you leave behind, have to deal with the pain and the confusion, wondering if there was something that could have done to change it.

The other matter I want to address is.... DRAMA on FACEBOOK!! For crying out loud, leave the really personal things off and if you do post something, you give people the right to comment. If you don't want to hear what they have to say, DON'T POST. If they say something that angers you, don't show your stupidity and argue back and forth or curse them. Don't air your dirty laundry on FB, I don't want to know about it. Another thing, don't make crap up and lie. Then suddenly act like your account has been hacked. If you need that kind of attention, stand naked on the side of the road with a tin cup, you'll get attention that way. You may even be placed in a mental ward, where you probably need to be anyway.

Okay, bitching session is through for the day. I could have just as easily posted this all on FB, but then I would be causing drama.

Until next time....

I remain,

Opinionated

Sadness

On Monday of this week, I received a call about my dad's brother, Morris. It seems that he became very ill and called 911. They rushed him to the ER and then transferred him to St. Joseph's Hospital in Savannah, Ga.

I just talked to him a couple of weeks ago and he said he was feeling good and he sounded good. However, I think he had been sick for awhile and never told anybody. Anyway, when he arrived at St. Joseph's they performed a heart cath and then rushed him into surgery to perform triple-by-pass.
He came through the surgery fine, but he never regained consciousness and suffered a stroke.

During the next few days he continued to suffer mini strokes and yesterday, they removed him from the ventilator. He passed away at 1:00 this morning.

Morris Russell Easler was born January 8, 1941 to Oliver and Catherine (Wolfe) Easler. He was the 5th of 7 children.... 6 boys and 1 little girl. Uncle Morris, Uncle Larry and Aunt Carol were closer in age to us so, we spent lots of time with them. Saturday morning breakfast at Grandma's and later, Carol and Morris would turn on the radio and dance.

Morris played the piano and sang. He sang in a men's quartet at church and mama played the piano. Aunt Carol also sang solos and when the Easler clan got together, there was good food, lots of laughter and always music.

I use to write to him when he was in Vietnam and when I graduated from high school, he gave me a savings bond that matured to almost 3x the original value, years later when I finally cashed it in. He was the "runt" of the family, he was handsome, funny, a wonderful cook and a clean freak (OCD).
He had a very distinct voice and when he laughed.... he laughed all over.

I love you Uncle Morris and I am going to miss you. Thank you for the sweet and precious memories of my childhood. I am so blessed to have had you in my life. Before I close, do me a big favor....
I know when you entered the gates of Heaven, there was a big Easler reunion and they took you to see Jesus. One day we will all be there with you, but please tell my daddy and mama how much I love them and I appreciate every sacrifice they made to provide for us.

This is not goodbye....  this is I love you....this is thank you.... this is I will see you later.

With all of my love....  Amelia Ann

PAIN

The last 3 days have been horrible. So much pain.... I haven't slept, no appetite.... so sick. On days like this I wish I had some potent drugs, just to get relief.

It's cold outside and that makes the pain worse.... OMG.... relief PLEASE!!

Here I Am Again

I have always liked to use different fonts and colors while posting on this page. I really like color and bright and different things.

Since nobody reads it, I guess I could get really crazy, but there is always a chance somebody may be reading this and just doesn't comment. I certainly wouldn't want to shock some people's delicate natures.

This week has been a crappy week, but it did end on a great note.... Phoenix will be 1 year old on the 27th of this month, but we had her party yesterday. It was a Crayola Theme and talking about bright and beautiful colors.... they were every where. All of the babies were there, so we finally got a picture of them together. Don't know what the big deal was before.

One thing that angered me was, Jordan had scheduled the middle school area from 1-4pm. The party actually ended at 3pm, but she needed the last hour to clean up. A woman, who shall remain nameless at this time, had the hall after the party and she came in while they were cleaning up. She was so-oo rude to Leigh, asking who we were and why were we there, just like she was Ms Anderson Mill. Leigh was very nice to her, but Jordan put her in her place and I went over to her and she was all quiet and meek when she realized it was my family. I know I've been that way many many times, but I don't like being on the receiving end. Double standards.... so?

Okay, I'm gone. I'll be back and next time I may get crazy and even name names, if there are witnesses left.

My Day....

This will be a very short post. It was a busy, but pleasant day. I rode to Bessemer City, NC with Ronnie. I go on one day service calls because
I don't get as tired. We had a great day, laughing and talking and picking at one another.

Sis pulled in just after we got back home. We sat around the table while she filled us in on her day. She was so excited about her biology grade, the highest in the class!! Go Meredith.

After supper, Meredith finished her homework for tomorrow and Ronnie
began packing for the rest of the week. I was making plans for our next LBJ
meeting, sending out e-mails and answering phone calls.

While I was on FB, I just happened to see a prayer request for Bruce Cash on his FB page. His FB pages were closed out so I went to his wife, Kitty's, page.
I found out that Bruce passed away on the 13th of January. I was heart broken,
Bruce and I went to SHS together and sang in the chorus together. He was so talented and such a wonderful, Christian man. I wrote a sympathy note to his wife and then I had to make a couple of phone calls about his passing.

After Ronnie finished packing, we were all sitting around, watching television. He happened to get an e-mail from a co-worker, letting him know that another
co-worker had passed away Sunday morning. Rich was a salesman for the Southeast (Charlotte) and Ronnie enjoyed working with him and they became good friends. Ronnie said that Rich was a Christian man and it was a joy to
be able to relax and carry on a decent conversation with someone who understood where he was coming from. Please remember these two families in your prayers.

Well, book club tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.

Until next time....

Ramblings II

I am so happy that my cousin, Rebecca read and commented on my blog page. That makes me feel like somebody actually cares. So, I guess I'll try and catch you up.

As I said, the wedding was beautiful and the storm did hold off until they left. They stayed in Charlotte on their honeymoon night because they were catching a plane for a resort in Mexico. Justin had taken a cruise to Mexico with some racing buddies and he had a great time, except his room mate was a drunk. Anyway, I guess they assumed a resort would be just as good or better than a cruise. The only thing, the food is purchased locally and you do have to be careful with the water and the fresh fruits and veggies. Their room wasn't quite ready when they got to the resort, so they decided to eat lunch and then hopefully the room would be ready and they could go for a swim. Unfortunately, Jordan ate a salad and some watermelon and while she was swimming, she told Justin she wasn't feel well. By the time they got back into the room, Jordan became violently ill. Justin called the resort doctor and he came up to the room, charged $200.00 and told them he thought it was food poisoning and she needed to be taken to the ER. The ambulance came and started an IV, charged them $450.00 and took her to the hospital. When they arrived, the doctor refused to help her until they paid $2000.00. Justin told them that he had insurance and he wasn't paying them any cash. They took out the IV, put them in a taxi and sent them back to the resort, also the taxi charge was $45. Justin was hysterical and he called Leigh to see if she could help them get home. She did work it out for them to change their flight home with no charge, but the travel agency could not get anything back from the resort. They flew home on Monday evening after 1 full day at the resort. Jordan went to the doctor the next day and he diagnosed her with e-coli. Bless her sweet heart, she was so sick for about a week. I contacted the US Embassy in Mexico and told them what had happened and that I felt that the resort should pay them back all of their money, but it never happened. I really felt so badly for them and was happy when they were able to take a trip to Gatlinburg one week-end for a honeymoon trip.

Things settled in to a routine, but Mama was becoming more depressed and less mobile. She was also becoming so mean, much more than she had been. I realize she was sick, she was frustrated and she missed daddy. She also kept telling me she knew she was a burden and that we would be better off without her here. That always broke my heart and I was trying so hard to make her comfortable and to make sure she realized that she was a part of our family and that we thought that we had done the best thing for her. In the beginning it was rough but I really thought things were getting better, boy was I wrong. She was in and out of the hospital several times and each time she came back home, she was weaker and more depressed. Home Health was so helpful, but they told me that Mama wasn't making progress and they were going to turn her over to Hospice. Of course everybody freaks out when they hear Hospice, but the care is more accessible (24/7) and the care was more intense and involved. They were so patient and kind. As time went on, Mama had totally given up and was beginning to get physically weaker. We finally had to put her in a hospital bed and she developed a serious UTI. Mary Ann (Hospice Nurse) put in a catheter and her urine was nothing but thick and bloody and had a horrible odor. Her bag had to be emptied 2x daily and we started pushing the water. They also put her on a very mild dosage of morphine at night, to help her relax and breathe better. In a couple of weeks her urine was clear, it looked like gold and she felt so much better.

Justin and Jordan went to the Outer Banks for their 1st anniversary. On Friday, May 13th, Hospice came in and checked mom over and gave her a good bath. Later that evening Cookie and Mark came over for a visit. We had a wonderful time with mama, talking and laughing and remembering good times. After Cookie and Mark left. I gave mom her night time meds and her water and went into another part of the house. She started talking and then called me back into her part. She asked me who the man was sitting on the corner of the couch? I turned the light on and there was nobody there. I had sat in her wheelchair beside her bed the night before and she asked me to sit on the couch where she said the man was sitting. After a few minutes, I got up, told her I loved her and that I would see her in the morning.

On Saturday morning, May 14th at 10:30am, Meredith and I went back to wake mama for breakfast, luckily I was in front. When I called mama, she didn't answer, I went to the side of the bed and called her again.... she was gone. The man on the couch was her angel and he came sometime around 10am and took her home. She had prayed so many times in the weeks before, for the Lord to take her home, because she was tired. The Lord heard her prayer and brought her to her Heavenly home. She finally saw her Jesus face-to-face and bowed before Him to worship and honor Him. She was cured, her legs were healed and she could walk. She finally saw my daddy, the wonderful man that she had loved for almost 52 years and he smiled that sweet smile and took her by the hand. She saw her parents, her brothers, one of them that she had never met before. Mama was finally home.

I was in shock. Ronnie called Cindy and together she and Mark went to tell Cookie. I called Jordan, the Hospice nurse and then I began to call other family members, friends and church friends. I sat in the wheelchair by her bed and looked at how peaceful she was. Our relationship wasn't always the best, but in the last couple of months things between us had changed, they were better. We loved each other, but we didn't always like each other. Eventually, we realized that we were okay. She was gone.... my breakfast buddy, my Food Network partner was gone. I missed her already. The house seemed empty and quiet. I was happy for her because she was cured, she was with Jesus and with my daddy, but my life would never be the same.

Earlene and daddy's deaths were not unexpected, but the grief and pain were there. Mama's death was inevitable, but I thought we had a little more time and we would have, but she had given up. Her death was still a shock, a deep pain in my heart and I knew it would be some time before I could get through the pain and grief.

Sometimes it still hurts and of course I miss her and my daddy. However, my Heavenly Father carried me through. He gave me peace and comfort during the sad times. He gave me strength during the times I had to take care of everything that needed to be taken care of. I praise my Lord everyday for His faithfulness. I thank Him for holding my hand and guiding me through the lonely days. I love you daddy and mama, I miss you both and I will see you again one day. 

Just thinking

I was going to take up where I left off on my post yesterday, and I still may finish catching up.

The reason I quit posting before is because nobody every commented. Maybe 2 or 3 people would every once in a while. I always try to make a comment or at least like their comments, just so they would feel like somebody was reading their post and cared. I know that many people don't realize that my blog page is back up and I will post on my FB page again, just to remind them. I frankly do not think people really care and sometimes it feels like a waste of time.

Same thing on my FB page. The only reason I'm still on FB is, because I love posting pictures of Phoenix and my family. I am so proud of them and they are my greatest treasure. I'm genuinely interested in my friends posts and I love to see pictures of their children or grandchildren.

I'll give it a few more days on here and if nobody is interested, I may shut it down.
Shutting FB is harder, because through FB I have been to reconnect with friends from years ago and it's good to catch up with them.

Okay, next time I will try to finish catching up and I'll be watching to see who comments.

Until then....

Ramblings....

For the last couple of days, I've been re-reading my older posts. This helped me to look back on what was going on in my life back then and how far we've come.

In my previous post I kind of tried to catch you up on what had been going on, no details just a brief post. I mentioned to you that my son, Justin and his high school sweetheart, Jordan, were married on May 15, 2010 at Denny's Plaza in up-town Spartanburg. Jordan had always wanted an outdoor wedding and her mom, Leigh, aunt Sande, Jordan and I spent an entire Saturday checking out outdoor venues. We went to several beautiful places. With an outdoor wedding, you always need a back-up plan in case of bad weather and most of these places had some very beautiful homes that could be used. We received pamphlets with everything that was included and the prices. They were beautiful, but none of them left us with that "feeling.' As we were leaving one of the places, I happen to ask Leigh why we couldn't have the wedding at Denny's uptown? She had worked with Denny's main office for over 25 years and she had some pull, so if she could get the okay from the decision makers, it would be a perfect place. So she called "Mr Denny" while we were driving down the road and within 5 minutes, we had the venue. This had never been done before and as far as I know, since then.

You know when you're making plans for your child's wedding, there is a lot of excitement and of course a lot of emotions. I wasn't sad, just sentimental, mostly I was happy and excited. Justin and Jordan were high school sweethearts and then Justin broke up with Jordan to date Kim. Of course Jordan dated other people and eventually Justin and Kim became engaged. Jordan and I still kept in touch and she even brought one of her boyfriends to the house to meet me. I remember when Justin and Jordan broke up, Leigh told Jordan.... "If it's meant to be, he'll be back."

If it had been left up to Justin, he and Kim would have married. Fortunately, it wasn't God's will for them to be together and I was thankful. I tried to love Kim and I did, but there was something about her and her family that made me very uncomfortable. Of course Ronnie and Meredith have never kept their feeling to themselves, so they were never happy with Kim. Meredith told me later on, after they broke up, that Kim had told her that Justin wasn't her "real" brother, just her step-brother. We have never made any difference in their status, just like we've never made any difference with Justin and his older brothers, Dale and Travis.

Kim had some very serious problems and I even had to set her straight one time. She was forever getting mad and leaving and Justin wouldn't really know what the problem was. I remember one night, she left and he went out the door behind her. A few minutes later he came in and said that she had tried to run him over. Well as the old saying goes.... "Hell hath no fury," in this case it was "like a pissed off mom. I got my shoes on and we were going to her house, but Justin begged me to let him handle it. I told him if he didn't get it handled, that I would. I was furious and this was when thing began to change.

Anyway, she broke up with him the weekend after Mother's Day and he was devastated. It was heart breaking to watch him go through the pain, but eventually he came through it. For six months things returned to normal and suddenly she called and apologized and wanted to come back. She ended it again, a few weeks later, but Justin handled it very well. I don't think he ever let himself believe she was sincere.

Justin had knee surgery a few weeks later and while he was home recovering, Kim would keep calling him and making him mad. Finally, he gave me the phone and said "Handle it." So I did, I was nice, but I just told her that Justin was going on with his life and she needed to do the same. I told her, don't call back Kim, because I'm answering the phone and you will not talk to him. Take care and I hope you find what you're looking for and that was that. No wonder she had major problems, her family was different, very quiet people. I liked her dad fine and so did Justin, but her mom was very strange and she didn't like Justin and the feeling was mutual. Thankfully, the Lord intervened and Justin was spared being married to a girl who didn't love him, in-laws that were strange and inevitably a divorce.

Thankfully, he and Jordan got back together and life was good again.

I enjoyed helping Jordan plan her wedding and going with her to pick the florist, the bakery and going with the bride's maids to pick out their dresses. Jordan wanted the girl's dresses to be black, but different styles. The one thing Justin wanted was to use Texas Long Horn orange as the main color. The men wore black tuxes and the flowers were gerberer daisies in orange, yellow and red. Jordan said that Justin and I could handle the music, which was right up my alley.

Shirley Lord was the director and every thing went as planned. Justin and I made a CD of processional music and then a separate CD for the ceremony. Our ensemble recorded "My Lord's Prayer for the ending prayer song, the Pastor (DJ), Justin and Andy and all of the attendants walked in on Canon in D and Jordan and Sid walked in on Ava Maria. There was a special sand ceremony, which is something new at weddings, taking the place of the unity candle. The biggest surprise was the recessional.... I bought a Texas Long Horn cd from their Long Horn band and they played all of the songs they play at the games. When Justin and Jordan stepped down the steps, everyone was standing and clapping and Justin and I did the Long Horn sign. It was so much fun.

We went inside the Denny's building for wedding cake and an ice cream bar.

As the bride and groom were leaving, the storm that they had been calling for was beginning to start, with wind and rain. However, in the happy couple's heart, there was nothing but sunshine and dreams come true.

Okay.... I'll catch you up next time, but I will try to make it shorter.

Thank you Lord in Heaven for prayers answered and dreams come true.

I'm ba-aaaack!!

January 21,2014 A couple of weeks back, Meredith told me that she had to have a blog page for one of her classes at Upstate. I told her that I use to have a blog page a few years back and I really enjoyed writing it. She was struggling with a name for her blog page and I mentioned mine, Megie's Musings. Of course that wasn't good enough for her, but when her teacher saw Meredith's Musings as one of her ideas, she loved it. So, her college blog page is Meredith's Musings. She so hates it when I'm right. There is a certain amount of freedom in writing a blog. I know there are many people who may read my blog, but it's not like Face Book. I try very hard to conduct myself as a Christian wife, mother and now a grandmother, but sometimes I really have a hard time being delicate or tactful and it's easier on here. I promise to catch up everything that has happened since I was on here last. The last thing I remember reading on my next to last post, Mama had just had her heart shocked back into rhythm, after the long serious illness, physical therapy and a long stay in a nursing home. She was home and I encouraged people to call and check on her, but that never happened. The last few years that she lived were lonely and sad years. She so missed my daddy, she thought she was a burden and she just gave up. I'll fill in more of the blanks later and I promise to end on a happier note. The happier note would be my family, of course. I'm sure you aren't surprise. Ronnie and I are still together, 23 years on the 20th of September. This is such a strong union in spite of ourselves. We were most certainly meant to be together and God has truly blessed our marriage and our family. I love Ronnie with all of my heart, but I would still like to choke him sometimes. Nothing new there. Now to the children.... Justin Horton and Jordan Compton were married on May 15,2010 at Denny's Plaza in uptown Spartanburg. It was a beautiful wedding and everything went off without a hitch. More on Justin and Jordan later. Our baby girl, Meredith, graduated Boiling Springs High School in May of 2013 and is now a freshman at Upstate, majoring in Elementary Education. She loves missions work and would love to be able to teach English as a second language over seas. She graduated high school with all A's and finished up her 1st semester at Upstate with 3) A's- 2) B's and a 3.8 GPA. She is a very smart girl and she is so sweet, with a quick sense of humor. She is growing into a very beautiful young woman. Now last, but certainly not least. On February 27,2014, our precious grand daughter, Phoenix Leighann Horton, will be 1 year old. There are no words to adequately describe my feelings for this little blessing from Heaven. From the moment she was born.... she was Justin Horton made over. There were a few times that she would look like Jordan and her dad, Sid. There were a few times she looked like her great Papa Horton.... Buck. However, for the most part she looks like her daddy, she has her mommy's smile, her daddy's blue eyes. Her blonde hair stands up all over her head but, she looks so precious in the hats, hair bows and headbands. She is "wide open," as her daddy would say. She crawls like she has a motor tied to her butt, pulls up on whatever, then she will squat, no hands, then she will stand up and shake her Elvis leg and dance. In other words.... She's a ham. She jabbers all of the time and is very nosey. She's very smart and she is trying to say some words, da-da is very plain, but she is trying to put other words together too. She is a precious gift from God, an answer to prayer, a beautiful and precious little baby girl. I am looking so forward to watching her grow up, but not too quickly. This first year has passed in a big blur and I want to enjoy every single moment of every day with Phe.